As a step-father, I felt a responsibility to shape my children's values, so I did a little research. Perhaps I was looking for ways to make my family agree with me. Instead, I encountered more and more evidence that values-specialization strengthens teams. Apparently, families benefit so much from tension between innovators vs. conservators, competitors vs. communalists, and mystics vs. grammarians that we are even genetically and neurologically predisposed toward opposing values. Rather than instill my values in my children, I should encourage them to be themselves. Sadly, however, the evidence suggests that we are so intolerant of disagreement that children typically dare not be themselves until after they leave home.
Even if I could learn to control my own intolerance and create a home where my children are free to exhibit their own values, I realize they will encounter oppression elsewhere--in colleges, workplaces, churches, and their future families--unless others face the same evidence I did, and find ways to manage intolerance. I realize that the fight for the freedom (and mental well-being) of our loved-ones cannot be purely military; it also involves social science and journalism about social science. Therefore I built the GRINfree website to provide public access to evidence and tools for achieving freedom from the oppression we ourselves inadvertently perpetuate.
I would deeply appreciate your prayers for God's guidance in writing the book, GRIN Free--GRIN Together: How to let people be themselves (and why you should). Writing is a learning process for me; it facilitates working-out details and allows targeted feedback from others. Please pray that I will stay open to learning, and encounter people and situations which can refine this book.